Posts Tagged ‘new year’s resolutions’

3 Innovative Ways to Set New Year Goals

Article contributed by guest author Diana Lowe

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Every year we all follow the same pattern with new hope in the air and the feeling of a fresh new start to all the possibilities that lie ahead. It is only natural that we want to set new goals for the new year.

Sadly, as we also know that that fresh recommitment to having a different type of year only lasts for a few weeks into the new year. In fact, “Research shows that as many as 50 percent of adults in the United States make New Year’s resolutions, but fewer than 10 percent actually keep them for more than a few months.”

According to an article on FSU News “On average, 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by the second week of February. Research shows that on average, it takes approximately 66 days for a habit to become automatic.” Clearly, that 6 weeks in period is not enough time to change behavior.

The truth is that COVID-19 shook us up and we are still dealing with this “new normal”. Well I think nothing is normal these days at all if you ask me. But we are more like in an experimental laboratory trying to figure out what works for us and others.

Because of this uncertainty, I came up with 3 innovative ways you can still make goals regardless of your external circumstances and what may happen this year. After all, we can’t change our external environment unless we change our internal environment.

Think about it, goals are always about what I want to attain, acquire, or achieve from the outside, financial goals, team growth, etc. Instead, I invite you to try something different. Focus on goals from within. Challenge your weaknesses, confront your fears, and raise your skill level.

The first innovative way to “Set New Year Goals” is to make a “feeling” your goal. This is no easy feat, but with conscious effort, positive reinforcement, and accountability you would be changing your environment around you.

Let’s say for example you have the feeling that the world is against you. That means that every challenging event that you encounter would essentially be against you, either holding you back or keeping you down. If you changed your “goal” to focus on the feeling of being courageous in the face of challenges, you will encounter the challenge in a very different way, and take different actions. The key is to become more self-aware of your natural tendencies and what you’re thinking, your behaviors, and overall your habits.

The second innovative way is closely aligned with the first way. It is to become more acutely aware of your physical actions, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Anyone who has practiced mindfulness can attest to the powerful transformation it can bring to one’s life and state of being. There are numerous studies on the benefits of mindfulness, and because it is a practice. It is something that we attempt every day.

As I write this I am practicing being present feeling my feet on the floor, my back against the seat, and the satisfying feeling of my fingers dancing on the keys. Mindfulness doesn’t have to be sitting still it can be just putting our attention to something right in front of us, or around us. Focusing on self awareness, mindfulness, and even awareness around other peoples feelings can and will change our outlook on a situation. It’s the act of being present, which is a gift.

And the third way is focusing on de-triggering yourself. What does that mean? A trigger is a “cause (an event or situation) to happen or exist.” So by a ‘trigger’, I mean an event or situation that can cause us to have an undesired negative reaction or response emotionally (it could even be physically).

We all have ‘triggers’ and the reaction can appear in many different ways and sometimes can be released at the most inopportune moments.

My clients tell me at work ‘triggers’ might be an off handed comment about their work, the feeling that they are talking and no one is acknowledging or listening to them, an email response that doesn’t come back in a timely manner, or even a facial expression by a coworker.

I notice, personally, I am triggered when I feel emotionally drained and then my little one does something that just is the straw that breaks the camel’s back, like refusing to eat what I have cooked! So it takes extra emotional energy to have that compassion. So instead I just learned how to de-trigger those moments.

This is a skill I work on with, with myself and my clients too. And we all have some sort of trigger that makes us feel like we lose it emotionally. Some people can be set off easily and for others, it takes more time but eventually, it comes out in some way.

Now in a workplace environment, in general, most professionals try not to emotionally lose it in front of others, but guess what? It leaks out! In your actions or lack of actions, your tone, your words, your facial expressions, etc.

And what some deem as “not losing it” others think “wow they really lost their composure”. By working on de-triggering your most stressful moments you can also affect your environment for the better, and your ability to handle whatever life throws at you.

There you have it, 3 simple and innovative ways to “Set Goals” for the new year, which allows you to grow in your personal and professional capacity.

What other innovative ways have you tried to “Set Goals”? I would love to hear from you in the comments.

Sources:

  1. https://www.samuelthomasdavies.com/book-summaries/business/triggers/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CA%20trigger%20is%20any%20stimulus,motivation%20and%20understanding%20and%20ability%E2%80%9D.
  2. https://www.westernconnecticuthealthnetwork.org/newsroom/article-listing/new-years-resolutions
  3. https://www.fsunews.com/story/news/2020/01/05/how-make-your-new-years-resolutions-last/2818222001/

A Fresh Start

Article contributed by Amy Sargent.

“When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place. The foot touches ground, but not for long.”

― Hakim Sanai

Have you ever gone for a walk in freshly-fallen snow?

There’s something magical about taking those first steps onto the pristine white canvas of a serene, snow-covered landscape. A few years back, I had a mile walk between the city transit stop and my office, and often, after a snowstorm, I’d be the first to traipse through the deep snow which had accumulated overnight. The soft crunch under my boots blended with the dazzling sunlight dancing on the frozen terrain brought much delight on cold, wintery days. At the end of the day, I’d notice that many other footsteps had joined my own on the new path I’d blazed that morning.

It’s often like that when we decide to venture out in a new direction of life. With each brave stride, our footprints carve a way for us and others to make a shift toward fresh perspectives and experiences.

What better time to do this than at the start of a new year?

When is the last time you ventured down a new path? If you’re like most of us, change can be disconcerting. Many of us settle into our habits and get so comfortable that any disruption to ‘the way things are’ can throw us for a loop. It’s easy to fall into this routine of not only resenting change, but avoiding it at all costs.

But life seems to be chock-full of continual change, and it’s nearly impossible to tread the same path year after year, without incurring negative outcomes. Unforeseen circumstances — and the emotions which accompany them — can hit with the ferocity of a bitter winter storm, and if we’re not ready to plow through it, we can get ‘snowed in’ to old patterns and ways which don’t serve us well.

Part of being open to change is seeking out opportunities to learn new things. Whether you are a coach, an HR professional, a leader, or an individual looking to grow, I’d like to propose Social + Emotional Intelligence Coaching, a unique niche to add to your coaching skill set. Learning to coach others to improve their self-awareness, self-management, other awareness, and relationship management can bring about more life satisfaction to you and those you lead. Taking this new step can help you forge a passage though the ups and downs of life, making the way a little easier to navigate for both you and those who follow.

So bundle up, don your snow boots, and consider exploring the new path of social + emotional intelligence coaching in the new year. We offer online courses each month to certify you as a Social + Emotional Intelligence Coach and equip you to administer the Social + Emotional Intelligence Profile. Not only will you be giving yourself the gift of a fresh start, you’ll be able to turn around and lay the course for those you work with and lead as they attempt to cross their own barren landscapes.

Learn more in our monthly free one-hour webinars. Click here to learn more or register today!

http://www.the-isei.com/certificationcourses.aspx

Reflections

Article submitted by Amy Sargent.

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.” — Margaret J. Wheatley

Making time this holiday season to reflect on the past year may feel like one more item to add to your ever-growing to do list, and the last thing you have time for.  However, stopping to reflect may be one of the most important things you do amidst the holiday hubbub.

Reflection simply means to give deep thought to something.  It’s not a fleeting, in-passing glance back, and isn’t to be confused with the goofy, quirky “Deep Thoughts” by Jack Handy on NBC’s television comedy, Saturday Night Live.  Reflection consists of stopping what we’re doing, pausing our current thought stream, and purposefully remembering past events, considering why they happened, how they happened, and pondering the outcomes.

“There is no greater journey than the one that you must take to discover all of the mysteries that lie within you.” – Michelle Sandlin

In a research study of employees in call centers, compiling the efforts of Francesca Gino, Giada Di Stefano, Bradley Staats, and Gary Pisano, it was discovered that employees who spent 15 minutes at the reflecting about lessons learned at the end of the day performed 23% better after 10 days than those who did not. [https://hbr.org/2017/03/why-you-should-make-time-for-self-reflection-even-if-you-hate-doing-it]. In the world of academia, researchers found the significance of reflecting on the student’s learning is undeniable . “It can naturally activate further engagement with learning material, deepen learners’ understanding of the topic and reinforce independent thinking and in that way create an effective learning environment.”[https://www.researchgate.net/publication/329203590_Theories_on_Self-Reflection_in_Education].

Reflecting is a positive choice any time of the year, but is especially beneficial as we wrap up the past 12 months and look ahead to 2020. Making time to reflect can add value in many ways. Here are just a few:

  • Forces us to slow down during a hectic time of year
  • Makes it possible to celebrate our achievements
  • Promotes gratitude
  • Helps us determine the things we don’t want to repeat in the coming year
  • Births creative ideas, helping us plan ahead for what’s next
  • Inspires others to reflect on their own lives
  • Connects us with those around us by remembering those who helped us along the way

As educational reformer John Dewey noted: “We do not learn from experience … we learn from reflecting on experience.”

Need some ideas on which aspects of this past year to reflect on?  Consider some of these, for starters:

  • What went well?
  • Where did you miss?
  • What ‘made your heart sing’?
  • What made you laugh?
  • What scared you and why?
  • What are you most grateful for?
  • What (and who) inspired you with hope?
  • Who helped along the way?
  • Who do you wish you would’ve spent more time with?
  • Which accomplishment made you the most proud?
  • How did you overcome a particularly difficult challenge?
  • Who did you help?
  • What do you wish you would’ve done more of?
  • Who are you most grateful for?
  • Which activities were the best use of your time?

Most likely, reflecting on the above questions will prompt you to think of more questions of your own to reflect upon.  If you like to write, consider using a journal to document your thoughts, or record your responses on a voice recorder, or have an in-depth conversation with a trusted friend or colleague.

Doing so will help direct you toward a successful year ahead.

“Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.” — Peter Drucker

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