Posts Tagged ‘personal agility’

Are you flexible?

“No matter what twists and turns your life offers you, your ability to be adaptable and flexible will help you to stay open to all of the hidden gifts that difficulty may offer. ” –Mandy Ingber

Article contributed by Amy Sargent

The routine of habits

We are creatures of habit. Consider, for example, how you prepare your morning coffee each day. I’m guessing you go through the same exact steps, day by day, whether it’s stopping by your favorite local coffee shop and ordering that same drink you love, or whether you make your own, carefully measuring coffee grounds into your coffeemaker and adding the same amount of sweetener and creamer to your steaming mug.  Or, reflect on the route you take to work. Do you tend to turn down the same streets each day or change things up?

Oxford dictionary defines a habit as a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up. Habits often imply a refusal to flex. On the contrary, flexibility, or personal agility, is our ability to anticipate and respond rapidly and willingly to changing conditions.

Does your day-to-day life consist more of habits or agility?

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligence, but those most responsive to change.” — Charles Darwin

Habits in and of themselves are not a negative thing. They are our way of getting necessary tasks done with a minimal need for brain engagement. You most likely could write down the steps you take from when you wake up to when you taste that first sip of piping hot coffee without much effort.  And your route to work — you could draw the map in your sleep. Getting dressed for work, brushing your teeth, filling the car with fuel when the tank is low — all tasks that need to be done yet don’t take a lot of effort to figure out how to do them. You’ve been doing these for years. Forming a habit around these seemingly mundane tasks allow you to accomplish with minimal thinking.

A study was done at Massachusetts Institute of Technology to determine how much of our behavior is fueled by habits.  The researchers outfitted students with a box that monitored their activities throughout the day–sleeping, eating, walking, working, going to class, talking with friends, etc. They discovered that a whopping 90% of our daily activities follow predictable routines! And many of these routines are simply reactions to the world around us. John Bargh, psychologist at Yale University,  says this: “…most of a person’s everyday life is determined not by their conscious intentions and deliberate choices, but by mental processes put into motion by the environment.”

Many habits can lead to a healthier, happier lifestyle. Take for example, your routine to eat healthy food, to exercise every day, or to spend quiet time in mediation or self-reflection. Habits such as these enable you to live the life you want, whether it be to achieve a level of health, find peace of mind, or relieve stress.

Habits get us into trouble, however, when a need for change arises and we refuse to respond. Some habits lead to poor physical health, such as overeating. Some lead to a lack of connection, such as spending too much time staring at your cell phone. At work, a refusal to flex can lead to frustration when the new manager arrives, or an inability to work well with others if you’re tied to always doing things the way you want to.

Signs of personal agility

Not sure if you are flexible? Take this short quiz (adapted from the ISEI Coaching Toolkit developed by Dr. Laura Belsten) to find how you score in personal agility. Read each statement and determine how frequently you demonstrate the behavior, on a scale of 1 to 5 (1=Always, 2=Almost Always, 3=Occasionally, 4-Almost Never, 5=Never):

  1. I find it easy to operate out of my comfort zone.
  2. I am comfortable with change.
  3. It’s okay when things are ‘up in the air’.
  4. I readily embrace new ideas and concepts.
  5. I quickly make decisions and solve problems even when there’s not enough information.
  6. I shift gears quickly when changes arise.
  7. I don’t curse change nor do I let change put me in a bad mood.
  8. I like to learn new skills and new ways of doing things.
  9. I can take action without having the complete picture.
  10. I readily embrace shifting priorities.
  11. I am comfortable if I have to do things differently than they’ve always been done.
  12. Others view me as someone who is curious in new ways of doing things.
  13. I am comfortable working with people who are different from me in their thinking and problem-solving.
  14. I anticipate change and respond readily.
  15. I can juggle multiple demands with ease (and a smile).
  16. I am comfortable with risk and uncertainty.
  17. I tend to be an early adopter (of things like technology, new ideas, new procedures).
  18. I adjust quickly to the need for change even if the facts available to me are limited.
  19. I happily rearrange my schedule to make sure new priorities and deadlines are met.
  20. I am comfortable with chaos and complexity.

Total Score ________

If your score is:

1-20 = Your personal agility is high

21-40 = Your personal agility is moderately high

41-60 = Your personal agility is moderate

61-80 = Your personal agility has room for improvement

81-100 = your personal agility needs improvement

It’s about comfort

Why are some resistant to change, and instead want to cling to habits and old ways, even if those ways are no longer serving them?

Habits are comfortable, like a favorite pair of socks or a warm, cozy blanket. Carol Kinsey Goman, an executive coach and author of the book This Isn’t the Company I Joined: How to Lead in a Business Turned Upside Down,  writes this in an article entitled, The Effects of Change on the Brain:
Change jerks us out of this comfort zone by stimulating the prefrontal cortex, an energy-intensive section of the brain responsible for insight and impulse control. But the prefrontal cortex is also directly linked to the most primitive part of the brain, the amygdala (the brain’s fear circuitry, which in turn controls our “flight or fight” response). And when the prefrontal cortex is overwhelmed with complex and unfamiliar concepts, the amygdala connection gets kicked into high gear. All of us are then subject to the physical and psychological disorientation and pain that can manifest in anxiety, fear, depression, sadness, fatigue or anger.” (

The thing is, change threatens to push us out of our comfort zone.  And we love our comfort zones! But personal agility is increasingly becoming a vital self-management skill. Change is inevitable. It occurs within all areas of our lives — our kids grow up and leave home, coworkers come and go, relationships shift, job descriptions mold into a new set of tasks, and our bodies — need we mention our bodies and the aging process?!  Instead of fighting the need to flex to ever-changing situations, it’s more advantageous to learn how to get comfortable with ambiguity, be adaptable, and shift gears when needed.

Where to start? 

“Change might not be fast and it isn’t always easy. But with time and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped.” — Charles Duhigg

Though change can be difficult, learning to flex and move in a new direction will help you navigate the ever-changing world around you.  Here are a few ideas to try:

  • Acknowledge and accept the normal human responses to change:  denial, resistance, exploration, and new beginnings. Think of a change you are currently being asked to navigate. Which phase are you experiencing? Have you gotten stuck there? Simply recognizing where you are in the process can help you see the need to move forward.
  • Recognize what is in your control, and what isn’t. Focus on the tasks you can control.  Note:  Other people and their behaviors are NOT something you can control!
  • Look for people who can support you during difficult transitions.  Find someone who’s been through something similar, or who has endured a tough time and made it to the other side.
  • Let go of your preconceived ideas about ‘the way things should be.’ Be open to new perspectives and be willing to try out new ideas.
  • Get your emotions in check.  Sometimes we allow our emotions to flood and create more drama around the change than necessary. Take note of how you are feeling, and why, and spend some time processing those feelings by journaling or talking to a coach or counselor.
  • “Try it, you’ll like it.”  Sometimes the best way to navigate change is to give it a try.  Take small steps in a new direction and try it on for size.  Look for the positives, noting opportunities that may arise with the shift.

“Success today requires the agility and drive to constantly rethink, reinvigorate, react, and reinvent.” — Bill Gates

Growing in personal agility

changeaheadArticle contributed by Amy Sargent

When I was first divorced I was very self-conscious going out alone in public. I remember I went to a restaurant, Mimi’s Cafe, in attempt to do something fun on my own like you’re supposed to. It was nothing short of disastrous. I felt like everyone there stared and noticed that I was alone and wondered why?, then had quiet, hushed discussions about how unfortunate my situation was. Of course they weren’t even thinking about me at all, but that is how one’s thought processes are muddled after being married for years then suddenly alone. It’s as if a part of your very being is missing, amputated, and you are going out in public half exposed, naked, like in a bad dream. I choked down my French onion soup and fled as soon as I paid the bill, hot tears streaming down my cheeks, shamed with the acute awareness of my awkwardness in this new, changing situation.

Personal agility is a competency of emotional intelligence, and it was obvious at the time that I had very little of it.  People who are strong in this area are able to manage shifting sands with ease — heck, they can even anticipate the need for change before it comes about!  And not only can they manage it, they have learned to embrace change, and are quick to look for the benefits and positive outcomes that will most likely come about because of the shift.

Oh, what a far cry from my night at Mimi’s!

How is your personal agility?  If you’re like me, you may notice that you tend to deny, ignore, and resist the need for change.  You can feel your discomfort levels rise when you sense a shift occurring.  A common place it happens is at the office. You’ve been doing something one way for a long time, and it works, quite well thank you very much, then someone new comes in and scrambles things up.  New initiatives!  New platforms!  New managers!  And not just new — “new & improved”.  Why can’t we just keep doing things the way we were when the old way worked just fine?

The reality is we are engaged in an ever-changing, advancing environment that is not slow-as-molasses Mayberry, North Carolina, where the old ways of doing things are always the best ways of doing things. Unless we are willing to stretch and step out of our comfort zones, we’ll quickly define ourselves irrelevant and most likely, down the road, out of a job.

If you struggle in this area, here are a few tips to keep in mind as you begin your journey toward the adventure of personal agility:

  • Accept that change happens–it always has and it always will.  And like it or not, there’s not a thing you can do to prevent it from occurring.
  • Allow yourself to feel.  The normal human response to change is denial and resistance.  If you’re feeling these, congratulations, your human! But you just don’t get to stay there.
  • Ask questions.  The more you can learn about and understand the changes, especially the why’s behind them, the more you can begin to wrap your head around what your next steps will be.
  • Acknowledge what is in your control and what is not. Focus on the things you can control (your attitudes and reactions) and not on the things you cannot (other people’s attitudes and reactions).
  • Adjust. This is where the hard part kicks in.  Whether or not you agree with the changes, your behavior (how you respond to the change) can be modified.  You’ll want to commit to keeping an open mind and maintaining the ‘big picture’ as you shift your perspective.
  • Accept the help of colleagues, friends, coaches.  Actively seek out people who can help you through the transition and encourage you to see things in a positive light.  Most everyone has had to adjust at one point or another in life, and hearing their stories of how they were resilient can serve as great encouragement.

Fast-forward fifteen years and here I sit at a table in the open, outdoor square of my little neighborhood, fringed with restaurants and bars and stores, and lots of people. Teenagers looking at their phones, trainers hunting for Pokemon, teetering toddlers climbing on the steps with parents hovering close by. A random camera guy taking photos of people and things, an old couple in matching shirts resting their weary shopper legs, lovers kissing, and friends and families eating dinner. I am sitting here alone, in a little dress with my hiking-sandaled feet kicked up on a chair, seeking a moment of respite at the end of 9 hours in front of a computer screen. I’m sipping on a glass of wine, relaxed and content.  I am people watching (obviously). I don’t care if they notice me or not. I look them in the eyes and say hi. Or don’t. I chat with a four year old with messy hair about the truck in his hand and smile at his mom. I feel confident. An attractive lady and her older boyfriend walked by and then she turned back, looked at me and said, “You look so cool sitting there sipping your wine with your red bicycle. Like a scene out of Paris. You just need flowers.” I added, “and a very handsome Frenchman.” They laughed and walked on, and I thought to myself, “You’ve come a long way, baby.”  The ease of the entire situation was a banner of success in my fifteen-year pursuit of learning to adapt to change.

Then with the next sip of wine I inhaled too quickly and choked, so violently that I gagged and the wine threatened to come out my nose. I tried to suppress my cough, shoulders shaking in odd spasms, tears dripping down my face. So much for the chic, Parisian look of cool collectiveness.  Though my personality agility is definitely on the upturn, I’m obviously still awkward as all get out.  But at least nowadays it’s a confident awkwardness.

“It’s not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but those most responsive to change.” — Charles Darwin