Posts Tagged ‘resolutions’

A Fresh Start

Article Contributed by Amy Sargent

I’m always amazed how at the end of the year so many with disheartened hearts post about how ready they are for the coming year. Something about the end of December gives us renewed hope in the reset button which, with the dropping of the shiny ball in NYC, will assure us of a fresh start for the year ahead.

As I strolled along the sunny California seashore over the holidays, I realized that I too needed a fresh start. The last few months of this year I felt as if I was swimming, frantically, just to keep my head above water in churning, turbulent ocean, and by mid-December, caught a wave that dumped me into the sand like a discarded, broken shell. There I lay, exhausted and discouraged, on a lonely beach, thinking someone, something would scoop me up as their prized treasure, with the same delight a beachcomber has when he eagerly retrieves that perfect shell half-buried in the sand. Instead, I felt as though the sea had disappeared and in its place a hot, dry desert, barren of the refreshing waters of life I so enjoy, spitefully appeared. And ever since I have been wandering. My mouth is dry and my feet are burning and I am tired. Tired, of walking, walking, walking and getting nowhere, not finding that oasis I so long for. And I know many of you are feeling the same.

What I noticed at the beach this week is that at the end each day, as the sun sinks low on the horizon, the used-up, trampled-upon sand is littered with imprints of all shapes and sizes: bare feet footprints and dog footprints and shoe footprints, a stripe from a beach chair leg being dragged along, a flattened swath where a beach towel lay. Seaweed strewn across water-logged driftwood with a million bugs swarming the dark green mass. A forgotten plastic shovel and an abandoned sandal. A seagull pecking at a dead, rotting fish. Discarded sand castles, their towering walls dismantled and washed away by the relentless waves. And broken shells. Lots of them. It’s a summary of the day’s happenings, the highs and lows, the ups and downs, the wins and losses. Each of us has a colorful backstory and I reflected upon how we spend most of our life trying to hide it from others, some of us doing a rather good job in the facade. But the beach tells all. You can’t take a step there without leaving a trail.

We got up early the next morning and strolled alongside the gentle surf. The sun was new and bright as its clear light cast its first rays across the sparkling waters. And the beach! I was awed by the transformation that had taken place in the night. The once-littered sand was washed smooth by the powerful waves of the high tide. Yesterday was gone. As far as I could see, a clean slate lay before me, eagerly awaiting today’s adventures to leave their mark. I felt alive and giddy and full of hope and wonder for what the new day would bring. I found a tiny perfect sand dollar in the sand.

It’s beautiful how the beach gets a redo each morning. A fresh start.

A few days later, we arrived back home after a long, tiring car ride. The kids left to go to their dad’s, and as I sat here alone in my little apartment, I again felt the dark tug of this year’s disappointments, disillusionment and discouragement grasping at my sun-kissed heart, wanting to pull me back down into the dark waters. Something about it was familiar, and I realized how easy it would be to slip right back. For some reason it is easy to hang on to our hurts, and return to that familiar place of pain, even though it’s so far from the brightness of where we really want to be.

But I don’t want to go back there. I can’t. I refuse to look at last year’s beach littered with disappointments, discarded dreams, and discouragement another moment. Let’s resolve, together, to let the night’s waves work their magic and gift us with a clean canvas, eagerly awaiting our first strokes of paint. Let’s let the past be past and look ahead with anticipation and hope and wonder. Let’s revel in the beauty of the unknown that each new day holds and not get caught up in the fear of what may be. Let’s start walking, boldly, letting our tender feet feel the inviting warmth of the soft white sand spread before us, and let the adventure of a new year unfold. I’m stepping forward. And I hope to see your footprints in the sand next to mine.

May your 2018 be rewarding and joy-filled. Happy New Year!

Cup by Cup

lemonadeArticle contributed by Amy Sargent

There’s nothing like a new year to get us motivated to make a change. Just skim your friends’ social media posts and you’ll most likely read a plethora of energized, excited-for-what’s-ahead resolutions. You’ve probably made a few yourself, even if you haven’t posted them for all to see. The start of a fresh calendar year is the natural motivator we need to prompt initiative and a bias for action.

But what happens in February, March, April, and onward is often a different story. As enthusiasm wanes, resolutions are sidetracked by life. Busy-ness, distractions, and discouragement can shift the best of intentions to a source of shame and guilt stemming from our lack of follow-through, which leaves many, yet again, to announce in December, “Can’t wait for this one to end!”

You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.” – Henry Ford

Having a bias for action is actually a competency of social + emotional intelligence. Those who have it are able to create opportunities and seize them, not letting things like the red tape of bureaucracy and other external circumstances slow them down. They are often risk-takers and go forward with boldness in pursuit of the hopes, dreams, and plans. They accomplish their goals and move on to climb taller mountains. But those who do not possess this quality–and we all know the type–probably because we are one of them in some shape or form–are waiting, waiting, waiting for something good to come their way. They often are procrastinators, operating out of either survival or crisis mode, need direction to get things done, and are known to give up easily when circumstances don’t lend a helping hand.

Which camp do you fall into?

A misnomer on being one who is proactive is that one has to take on something huge to make a difference. I love the story of Alex Scott, a little girl from Connecticut who was diagnosed with neuroblastoma, a type of childhood cancer that forms in the nerve tissue. Rather than give up, Alex decided to do something about it. At age four she asked her mom to help her set up a lemonade stand to raise money so that doctors could, in her words, “help other kids”. That first lemonade stand brought in profits of $2,000, and throughout her short lifetime of eight impactful years, her lemonade sales raised over $1 million toward cancer research and to this day continue to inspire as many as 10,000 volunteers, at over 2000 lemonade stands in her name, to make a difference in the lives of kids who are battling cancer.

Cups of lemonade!

The smallest of actions can bring about powerful results. The important thing is that you keep moving forward, keep squeezing those lemons and adding sugar, stirring faithfully, and get out there and sell that lemonade, even if it is cup by cup.

If you struggle with staying power, the good news is that there are ways to jump start your initiative and bias for action. Here are some small steps that will propel you forward when your start to lose steam:

·        Make a to-do list. As simple and overrated as this may sound, write down your goals and list out some simple, daily steps to get there. This list can serve as a guide when you begin to get off track.

·        Figure out what is tripping you up. Is it fear of failure? Do you have too many tasks on your plate? Are you stretched in too many directions? Are you allowing distractions to deter you from your goals? Attempt to identify your hurdles by writing them down. If you’re not sure, ask a friend or a trusted colleague, or seek out the help of a coach.

·        Tackle the tough jobs first. Every goal has aspects which are more enjoyable than others. Getting the ‘worst’ ones out of the way first frees you up to enjoy the rest of the project and helps you avoid procrastination down the road.

·        Focus on the things you CAN do and not on the things you CANNOT. Start with these ‘can-do’s’ and get some help on the ones that you just can’t tackle alone.

·        Revisit to your list of daily to-do’s and refocus on checking off the next item when you discover you are losing momentum.

I don’t doubt you’ll achieve your New Year’s resolutions this month. But when the excitement begins to wane, remember the lemonade stand, and remind yourself that taking these small, basic steps can help you refocus and keep up the good fight, cup by cup.

“Have a bias towards action – let’s see something happen right now. You can break that big plan into small steps and take the first step right away.”  — Indira Gandhi

Upcoming Classes